I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
