Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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