I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
