So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have post one night stand depression
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
