Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am midnight drunk by noon
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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