is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You need Xanax blowdarts
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
