Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
