i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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