Small penises have feelings too.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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