the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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