Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
