if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
