too bad you live with your parents still
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize