guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize