Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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