I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
