Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize