dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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