Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize