I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize