i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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