How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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