there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize