I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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