don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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