i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
