I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize