I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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