when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize