is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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