I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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