He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Life without a bra equals bliss.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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