Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
