it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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