I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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