what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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