Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
