Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
