I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
