They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
