i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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