Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
