the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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