my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
