i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
