you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
