I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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