There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
