I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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