Whod you bang
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
