Do vagina's smell?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize