this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
