From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
