I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
