did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
