Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
