i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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