He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
