We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize