let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize