So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
