yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize