ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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