Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
