1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize