i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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